Thank God For Storms. By Marie G Though when I was young I'd been taught to love Jesus I became a problem child, then a troubled teen and finally I was a divorced mother with lots of issues and no hope. Years went by that I did not attend church and prayer was very rare. I was full of pride and thankless. I did not praise or glorify God at all. During my divorce I had to move into my mother's house. It was a very trying time for us all. There was a wild plum tree in my mother's back yard. It was a small tree with a lot of diseased branches on it and it bore no fruit. One evening as I was watching a rain storm through a back window I was suddenly moved to thank God for the rain that was watering that sickly tree and for the wind that would strengthen it. Before then I can't really remember thanking God for anything. I was still giving my meager thanks when the sky turned black as night, the wind become so loud it was frightening and my little tree fell. OUCH. I felt wounded. The next day the tree was cut up, the stump removed and only the roots remained. That was about 14 years ago. My life for quite a while spiraled steadily down. I become sick in spirit and in body. I lived a life of indulgence and sin. I faced numerous squalls and subjected myself to many elements. I was beset on all sides by my storms till finally I could no longer stand. Like my sick and fruitless plum tree I fell. Praise God for my storms! From where I lay I had no where to look but up and what I saw there was the Lord Jesus Whose love I had forgotten even though as a child I had been rooted in Him. I beheld a Savior who forgave me all of my sins, lifted me, filled me with His Holy Spirit and fed me His Word. The holy LORD has healed me of my many sicknesses and delivered me from much. Through our Father's grace I grow and flourish. Fourteen years have passed since the evening when I thanked God for the wind and rain that knocked down my sickly little tree. I now own that house where the tree was apparently destroyed. However, now when I look out my window I see a very large healthy wild plum bush that had grown up from the roots that were left intact. The winter wind against the house is softened by this massive shrub. In the spring I have lovely flowers and scents and shade all summer long. Birds sing and nest in the branches. God knew as I thanked Him for the wind and rain that evening where I'd be today and was even then planning my future temporal home. Much better though is the place Jesus is preparing in His Father's house for all who love and accept Him as Lord and Savior. Thank God for storms. " Praise the LORD from the earth ... lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do His bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children." (Psalm 148) June 20, 2003 PS When I look closely I see that some pruning needs done. (John 15) Marie G Heart to Hearts |
A Moment with God Testimonies |
These testimonies are a reminder of what God Can do in peoples lives. God wants us to be whole and healed... 3 John 2 say, Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and Be In Health, even as thy soul Prospereth. The Lord has told us... "Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24. Whatever we ask for He will give it to us... that includes healing of body, mind and soul. It's all covered under the blood of Christ. Mark 5:28 For she said, if I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.... He said unto her, daughter, thy FAITH has made you whole. Our faith and believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ can and does bring healing to us. For by his stripes we are healed! 1 Pet 2:24 God is a loving God who heals our afflictions, no matter what the world things, God is still in control and is still healing people today. Trust God, believe in Him and He will bring healing into your life. Send in by Daisy: If any of what I write below will help one other person, I am happy to share. There has been more than once that my Lord has answered prayer and there are a couple of them that no one involved could deny that God had caused a miracle. First, let me start with my "little miracles". One morning before going to work (accounting for small co. and working part time) I prayed for a healing in my jaw/ear/gland in throat. Didn't know if toothache, earache or sinus infection in gland. Went to work, by the end of the day, no pain, healed after a week of getting worse steadily. Realized that God HAD heard my prayer and healed me (to show me He was there and listening, I suspected) I became a firm believer then and got serious about reading my bible. Next: When New Year's Eve came around about 6-7 yrs ago, I prayed to my Lord to help me to quit smoking. I made that my resolution and knew if I asked Him to help me, I'd better keep up my end. He did!!! He put me in bed after Christmas for a wk when I couldn't eat anything or drink anything but water. Not a cigarette since. Easy for me cause He did it. But, before I learned to have faith that He would do what He said He would, my mother, who had more than 2 angioplasty heart operations, (brother had 2 bypass surgeries) had been told that her doctors had done all they could do for her heart problems because of her age (84). She was advised to take a nitro tablet as soon as she felt a bad spell coming on and not when it had gotten so bad that she was forced to do so, If that one didn't bring relief fast, she was to take another. She had been prayed for in her church prior to this time when an evangelist was visiting one weekend. After the evangelist called any to the altar, she went down and was prayed for. After going about her normal activities for a week, she realized that she had not had to take a nitro. This was out of the ordinary in her life. She has not had to take another one since. Her doctor proclaimed her heart healed of all her problems. Glory to our God. And....here's the kicker: My stepson of age 41 had been on drugs for many yrs. He had almost destroyed his health. Was on the methadone program and trying to function normally. While his father and I were in the north for several months about 2 yrs ago, we received word that he had been found unconscious at his home on the floor by a friend and taken to the nearest hospital in an ambulance. We found him comatose in ICU and on a breathing machine. He seemed to get better and could respond somewhat, but for almost 4 months he was in ICU when his main doctor called for a family conference. We had all decided that if he was not "brain dead" that they were to try all possible to get him well. The doctor advised us at that time that he could not live more than 5-6 minutes off the breathing machine. We got online, in church and on phone asking all to pray for Kenny's healing. This still thrills me! My heart beats with joy and praise for our Lord even now. Hear this: Kenny walked out of that hospital 2 weeks later!! All who knew of Kenny in the hospital and their ICU waiting room called him "THE MIRACLE BOY". OK, That is not the end of this story. Kenny was on oxygen but his sister would pick him up and drive him to church every time they opened their doors. Kenny knew that our Father had given him another chance and Kenny loved Him and praised Him for this. Kenny became an inspiration to many others there in that church in Memphis, TN when they saw him straining with that oxygen tank and beads of sweat rolling off his forehead but with a smile of love on his face and happiness in his eyes. This past January, we were heading back home after the New Year holiday with son in Indiana and we got a phone call that Kenny was found dead that morning in his bed. For a few minutes our hearts felt pain, but then we realized that our Father God had given OUR MIRACLE BOY a year to get his life together and that he had been completely forgiven and used for good and that he was up there with our Lord Jesus running in fields of flowers without a care or pain and he had not been able to do that for quite some time. Hallelujah.! I realize that our time is not God's time and that...Isa 55:.. "For my thoughts (are) not your thoughts, neither (are) your ways my ways"... so when I pray, I try to remember to ask for His will above all things remembering He will answer me in His time and also remembering: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Romans 8:... He will make everything come out for our good...always. Walk in love His and mine Daisy |
Testimonies From |
My Testimony of Jesus Christ By Phillip Miles Beginning April 19, 1951 I was born in Atlanta. And even before my birth Jesus had me in mind. Prior to my birth to a great family of God my Father Rev. John A. Miles and my mom Opal Mae Miles were in some meetings with Dr. Oral Roberts. My mom came forward for prayer for me. And Dr. Roberts began to lay his hands on my mother's stomach and began to prophesy over me and said God has called me to be a Prophet of many nations. He said I would fulfill God's calling on my life. This has always had a great impact on my life. And I thank God for an obedient servant as Oral Roberts was and is today, What Satan Intended For Evil! Being a pastor's son I grew up to age thirteen with many experiences of the Lord Jesus. Then just as the good times were so wonderful, suddenly Satan came immediately to bring total destruction to my life and prevent the Lords calling on my on my life. At age thirteen I was raped and molested by a minister. Afterwards having been destroyed in my self esteem, I began to experiment with drugs and alcohol and became an addict for many years and became a male prostitute. Even at the ripe age of thirty seven. I sought for companionship through four failed marriages. I had no idea what was wrong with my life. All I knew was I hated life and tried to commit suicide many times and had been treated for depression in over twenty mental hospitals. Still I had no clue what was wrong with me. I thought since I was a pastors son I couldn't figure out what had happened to me and why God had left me or so I thought. So I became worse and worse a man lost and without hope. For all hope had been lost. For I thought God had forsaken me. Jesus Christ Turned It Around For Good! Praise be to God who causes us always to triumph in Christ Jesus! In 1988 God made good his promise. I had suddenly developed a hunger for my Savoir Jesus Christ. As i was in a revival service at Christ Fellowship in Atlanta, I heard Evangelist Mike Williams give his testimony on The Repairer of the Breach and the Restorer of Paths to Dwell In and as Mike gave his personal testimony I was delivered from unclean spirits and curses of my life that had plagued me all my life. Tons of guilt and shame were removed. My relationship with Jesus Christ was fully restored and I became the man of God He had called me to be. My hunger increased, my shame was gone, my ashes became beauty for God had restored my life. Since then i have prepared for the ministry and now operate in the Fivefold Ministry of Jesus Christ. I have given my testimony and preached His holy word to many nations. I know how God can change the most foul existence that had no purpose and recreate a life that gives Him praise. I enjoy touring the U.S. and preaching His Holy Word. So in closing I ask you to consider that God is no respecter of persons and what HE DID FOR ME, HE WILL DO FOR YOU....... So invite Him in your life and Taste and SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!God bless you all for allowing me to share this testimony and continue to pray open doors so i can bring His glory and majesty to a lost and dying world, And to comfort all who mourn in Zion. Feel free to email or IM me any time. My life is only for you my brothers and sisters. God bless you all in Jesus Christ's name.........Please send this testimony to others who are hurting. In His Presence......Through His Love......... by His Precious Holy Spirit, Apostle Oral Phillip Miles P.S. Got any rivers that seem so uncross able? Got any mountains you cannot tunnel thru? God specializes in things called impossible and he will do what no other power can do!!!Let Jesus fix it for you for He knows just what to do. Whenever you pray let Him have his way and He will fix it for you!!! |
Pastor Boyd: I minister to people who need the savior and pray for many who have physical needs; but don't have any outstanding testimonies.. I would suggest that you offer to pray for those in Rest Homes etc...NOT that your a healing evangelist; but children of God can pray for one another. Just say to the patient would you like for me to pray for you? GOD HEALS TODAY Our world is filled with people who need the healing touch of the great physician, Jesus of Nazareth. It is difficult to understand why many good believing Christians are not healed. We don't have an adequate answer. You can be sure God has a reason for all situations. Romans 8:28 says, "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." We areto pray in faith believing and leave the results with God. We undoubtedly bring some adversities and problems on ourselves in not using good judgment or by bad decisions. Jesus said, " we learn obedience by the things which we suffer" (Hebrews 5:8). For a solution and answer to our physical needs look at James 5:13-16; Isaiah 53:5; Mark 11:24; and 1 John 5:14,15. According to James 1:6,7 we are to pray with unwavering faith .. no doubting the results. Dare to believe God's Word. Let God stretch your faith. Keep your thoughts on the positive rather than the negative. God says put not your confidence in man, but in God. "Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward" (Hebrews 10;35). "...In quietness and confidence shall be your strength" (Isaiah 30:15). "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble, Therefore we will not fear" (Isaiah 46:2). "Be still and know that I am God" (Isaiah 46:10). "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes , I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous hand. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, Fear not, I will help you" (Isaiah 41:10,13). When you prayed to receive Jesus Christ as your savior, you prayed a very simple prayer and never doubted but what God would answer promptly. That was a positive prayer, you expected an immediate answer and you did. Unwavering faith on the authority of God's Word is how we must pray. Exercise that same positive attitude. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Heb 13:8). His power has not diminished. God says, "What I have written I will bring to pass" (Isaiah 43:2). God still heals today, refuse to believe otherwise. Follow the above scriptures and refuse to live in defeat. "Things impossible with man are possible with God" (Matt19;26). May God grant the cry of your heart even today Pastor Boyd "A life lived for Christ, is the best inheritance we can leave our children" |
Francis Hope: Keren: At age 81, was lying in Hospital in Redding California, with double Pneumonia. Pastor came to pray for me, heard death rattle in my lungs, later told my wife He didn't think I'd make it through the night. About two A.M. I threw my hands up and committed my life to my Lord, whom I'd served for most of my life, promising Him if He would Heal me, I would do anything or go anywhere He directed me to. Doctor said I had a mass on one lung that was not affected by any antibiotic known to man, but God removed the mass within ten days and made me completely whole. I'm 83 and my Poetry is on the Web by God's Grace. Francis Hope |
Susan, Send in by MerryMerry: WE TOOK DUSTY TO A CANCER SPECIALIST OUT OF STATE, IT WAS A DIFFICULT TIME FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY BUT WE HAD FAITH IN GOD FOR A MIRACLE. AFTER SEVERAL WEEKS OF CHEMOTHERAPY TESTS REVEALED THE CANCER CELLS ON DUSTY'S TONGUE HAD SHRUNK INTO A CLUSTER THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED. THE SURGEON WAS ABLE TO REMOVE ALL OF THE REMAINING CELLS, WITH NO DAMAGE TO DUSTY'S TONGUE. TODAY MY GRANDSON DUSTY IS AN ADULT AND A FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST. HE CAN TALK AND SING WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS, AND HE'S STILL CANCER FREE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! JEANNE FROM TEXAS WOW!!!! PTL! God is GOOD! I think it is awesome that Dusty is still doing so well!!!!! TY for sharing this story & praise. This is a story I can PERSONALLY relate to... because when I was young I had a tumor on my tongue (on the side of my tongue) that by the time I was 12 years old was about 1/2 the size as my tongue was itself... and it made it nearly impossible for me to eat or speak properly. Well... I could eat but it was very painful, because the tumor was so large... there was no way for me to chew w/o biting it or my tongue... and when I would cry, my dad would cuss me and say for me to go to my room until I could eat w/o acting like a "baby." I do not remember how old I was when this thing first appeared in my mouth (I am sure it started off smaller) but since my dad was totally opposed to dr.s unless HE felt seeing them was NECESSARY (his beer and hard booze was admittedly a priority over paying "Good money for QUACKS") it was something that never seemed to concern anyone but me.... and my speech therapist that the school provided for me (my speech therapy was at school) and maybe my mom was concerned too but she never let it show (probably out of respect to my dad?) When I was 12 years old I wore a size 6x and looked like one of the children from a concentration camp, barely skin clinging to bone. By this time my 16 yr old brother was in that last stages of cancer himself (his last tumor they TRIED to remove was in his lung and the size of a football.) :'( Robert was also forced to wait on medical care until it was "OBVIOUS" to my dad it was NEEDED... sadly, it was a little too late for Robert. When I was fianlly admitted to the hospital to have this THING removed (Wyler's Children's Hospital in Chicago) my brother was in a room about 3 doors down from my room and I could see when the nurses had to go running in to help him and such... I am not sure he even knew I was also there in the hospital but, I KNEW that God was with BOTH OF US (no matter what our dad said.) Just before I was heading to the operating room my dad walked in to talk to me. I THINK, maybe... at the time... he THOUGHT it would be a "funny joke" but he asked me if I thought my God was going to help me??? Then he said they were going to cut off my tongue and I was going to starve to death... sooooo... IF I was going to pray, I better pray to die sooner then later. (Yes, this was and IS the kind of thing my dad always says.) I did not even realize then how HURT I was... I just knew I was scared. After he left my room to go to Robert's room, I climbed up on the heat regester thinggie and tried to find a way to jump out of the window to my hospital room (I had been admitted the night before my scheduled surgery) but a nurse walked in and stopped me. I don't think I really even thought about what I was doing. When the nurse got me into my bed and threatened she would have to strap me down if I get back up... I told her what my dad just did and she hugged me soooooo tight, and she told me I was going to be "just fine!" Outside of church, I had NEVER been hugged like that before in my life... and even at church, I don't think I had ever been hugged so tight. Well the surgery went ok I guess... of course no one really talked to me about it, so I just guessed. I did have to have radiation (just once) but I did not die!!!! I did also have to "relearn" how to eat and talk. I could not even figure out how I was supposed to hold my tongue, with my mouth closed, because that tumor had taken up so much space for so long.... so speaking and eating was a true challange for me. Anyway... by the time I was 14 or so.... I was not only talking up a storm! I was singing! YES...... I was singing.... in Church. Sometimes solo's... but mostly with a friend or 2 and ALWAYS when they had praise and worship time (I don't think they called it that back then, but IT WAS!) Only away from home of course.... was when I would talk much or sing... cuz at home it was best to stay silent. *One "family joke" I NEVER had to hear again was... "Hey Susan, didn't anyone ever tell you... You are not supposed to talk with your mouth full." Sheese! I still did have a "Mouth-full" ...... only it was no longer tumor.... it was music, and way back then... LOL... I actually could sing very well.... THAT WAS GOD!! I still have many tumors (literally 100's) all over my body (inside and out) due to having Neurofibromatosis.... (even behind my eyes).... but, for the most part I would say like 90% of them are not bothersome and are nothing but "ugly reminders" of something the medical professionals say "there is no cure for." The other 10%... well, Pain is an understatement at times.... Showers are PAINFUL (the water, even on LOW pressure) feels like thousands of needles hitting me all at once. Some clothing is painful.... Like anything that touches my lower back, right at the beltline (That tumor there is not huge on the outside... but on the inside it goes in and around nerves and my spine ane the only way to remove it would paralize me.) When I went a few months ago for an MRI... we THOUGHT the tumor had grown, due to the increase in pain... but GOOD NEWS is NO... it did not grow.... bad news is, I now have arthritis eating at areas around the tumor. In time, it still COULD paralize me... and I do already have a walker that I should use to help me balance and keep SOME pressure off that part of my spine since getting around is difficult for me... But, I have refused to give the devil the satisfaction. I see my walker as a bigger challange anyway, since I can't carry anything (like my purse, or whatever) if I am juggling w/ that thing! HA! These health "challanges" that my daughter and I face (she also has numerous tumors and many other health issues) are a daily thing... but, THANK GOD for the good days! (Few & far between but ALWAYS from GOD.) I truely believe that once God helps us to move from Indiana.... there will be huge changes (for the better) in our health! I really do not know just why, but I just KNOW! Right now I feel like a ping pong ball in my moods..... The other day I had a FANTASTIC "UP" day....... Yesterday was a very badddddd day (emotionally & otherwise) and today....... well, I am alive... so maybe that means something? Uggggggggggg, Anyway... I did not mean to yack so long.... I just wanted to say TY JESUS for Dusty's continued recovery and being cancer free.... and also to say that this was one story I could really relate to in some ways. Love in CHRIST... Be Blessed, susan When Satan comes knocking at your door just simply say: "Jesus, will you get that for me please? " |
UnsexyNStupid Romans 10 9) If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10) For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved 3rd of a 4 part series NICE PEOPLE GO TO HELL, SINNERS GO TO HEAVEN People often say, "I'm a nice guy, I pay my taxes, I've never robbed anyone, never shot or stabbed anyone. OK so maybe I've told a fib or two, or maybe even more than a few. But it's ok; I'm better than everyone else on my block is. God has already forgiven me, why worship or talk bout Christ or go to church?" This is also one of the traps that people are caught in. Pride gets in their way. All of us have sinned. All of us have fallen short of the glory of God. Today, I wanna tell you a story of an arrogant man who used to feel that same way. In 1997 this guy I used to know was running for the Va State Legislature. He had no idea what God meant. He had promised hisself that he would NEVER go to church. In fact, this guy was so arrogant that he thought that he was a better Christian than others were because he never went to church. Well during this run for the Legislature, he had to go to church to meet voters. Voters go to church right? What better place to meet them! Well one day, our arrogant friend was set to go to take a tour of the state prison, and in this tour, he was gonna witness an execution. Our friend thought this would be great politics, go watch a guy get executed. Carlton Pope was an angry kid, one who grew up without much money. Most of what he had he stole. He had served time for robbery and arson. In 1990, he broke into an old widow's house, robbed her, and shot her to death. Sentenced to death in 1991. Well our friend thought on it, and thought "Hey, I'm a nice guy, lets pray for this poor slob. After all, I'm a swell guy; it's the least that I can do right? After all, I'm an upstanding citizen, this guy is a maggot". Well the time came for the execution. The witnesses were escorted into the prison gates, and were given a description of what would happen. Our friend asked if any of these bums (his exact words) had ever shown repentance or any last words on the gurney. The prison spokesman replied that never in the recorded history of the Virginia death penalty had there ever been any last words; the condemned usually just wanted to get out of this world. When Carlton Grey Pope was walked in, there was no fear in his eyes. He hopped onto the gurney like he'd hop onto a doctor's bed. When asked if he had any last words, Carlton Grey Pope said: "I'm sorry for what I've done, I love my Mother, Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins." With that, Pope served his sentence for capital murder. Our friend was so busy tabulating votes in his mind that he forgot all about Carlton Pope for several months. Several months later, our friend finally understood what he saw: That while he was not a criminal, he was a sinner. And that here this murder, this arsonist, this thief, would go to Heaven before he did, because when the money was on, Carl Pope confessed with his mouth and believed in his heart that Jesus was Lord, and did what he could teach a wayward soul about Christianity. Carl Pope did 2 things that our friend had not learned. One was that you must know that Jesus died personally for you. Second, Carlton Pope understood what next week's lesson will be, from the Book of James, Faith and Works. And what of our arrogant friend, who thought he was so smart? He ended up being reborn on March 28, 1998. He now runs a private prayer group for the condemned in Virginia. There are now 21 saved souls from Virginia's death row. He learned the value of prayer. Most of you know him; his name is S John Massoud.aka UnsexyNStupid@aol.com |
JEAN IS SAVED FROM DEATH My name is Jean and I am 45 years old. As a child, I went to the Salvation Army. They had a van and would come and pick us up. Most of the neighborhood children went. The Salvation Army had activities for children. I was in the Girl Guards, timbral group and painting class. My parents never went, but mother did let me go. I can only remember one time that my dad and mother went to Church. I got pregnant at 16..........and got married. It was the worse 12-13 years of my life. He was a dope dealer and got busted while my daughter was a baby. He did not stop though. He also let friends come in the house and run up drugs. There was blood all over my kitchen walls. There were parties every night practially. I did not take my child to Church. I had started drinking, I guess to try to keep up with him. I never did like to smoke pot because it made me parinoid. I left him leagually, 3 different times. Finally on the 3rd , we got a divorce. I became a full blown alcoholic. I drank by myself, and with friends. I felt I had to have it to be able to function around people. I got 2 DUI's and spent time in jail for that. As for my daughter, just so my ex would leave me alone, I agreed to have joint custudy. Boy was that a stupid mistake. She wound up wanting to stay with him more than with me. She got into doing drugs. She quit school and got married. I was married Matt. (2nd marriage). I was still drinking heavy. He drank also. I don't think he would have drank so much if it wasn't for me. I can remember riding the bicycle to the store to get beer, when I had no other way. I finally got a bleeding ulcer and about died. I had to have surgery and blood transfusions. I quit drinking. That must have been Gods way of getting through to me! I have always had low back pain but it escalated to, 3 buldging disk,, sciatica, Osterporsis & Degegerative disk disease at 45 years of age I was in pain all the time while I was being treated. The doctors kept uping me meds until I was on 15 different ones. Two of them were Opiates (Roxycodone and Kadian) One day not long ago, I was sick all day and could not keep medicine down. I had dirraha, dry-heaves. Back and forth to the bathroom. This went on all day. Finally Matt called 911 at 9:30pm. All I wanted was help. Otherwise, my mind was blank. I had no cares. At the hospital, they gave me morphine. I could not eat nor drink much water. After a few hours they let me go home. I suppose the reason they sent me home so fast was because of all the drug addicts they have that come in. They told Matt to give me a Kadian when we got home. I went to sleep and he did not know what a kadian looked like . With all the meds I have, (it looks like a Pharmacy here), he had no clue of what was what. I was so weak and sick that he could not ask me. So he called the Pain Center. He waited 10 hours before they called him back. Matt had not had no sleep and had to keep an eye on me those 10 hours. I kept walking the floor trying to find a place I could lay down comfortable. (couches, floor) I would lay down 10 seconds, get up and go somewhere else. I was incoherent and did not know who Matt was. I was trying to drink hand lotion, Instant coffee out of the jar, Heet that has a sponge to rub on painful areas of your body, and it was hot. I did not know what I was doing. Matt was afraid I would drink something poison. Matt asked my mother to watch me for a few minutes. He needed a break. He hardly had time for a cigerette, since we don't smoke in the house. She said she could not keep up with me. Matt was having a stressful time trying to keep up with me. He went without sleep for 2 days & 2 nights. Nor did he eat. The dogs were even sick. Both were throwing up. They knew something was wrong. After he finally got a Kadian in me that afternoon, I was fine. Just a few days later, I thought I was well, but boy was I wrong. I could only remember one thing at a time. No one could talk to me. If I got my mind off of what I needed, I would not remember it. I had to write down each thing I wanted and hold it or wear it to my clothes with hair clips. Its like my mind was empty, maybe like a child. Somewhere during this time, Matt called the pain center and they saw me. I wanted to take Bengi my puppy and Matt did not want me to. So I took a laundry basket with all his toys in it. Anything that reminded me of my dog. That seemed to satisfy me. The Doctor at the Pain Center put me on patches that would last up to 72 hours for pain. It was equal to an Opiate. I did not sleep at night nor day. I spent the night trying to get in touch with ones at the hospital that took care of me. I had matt get up cause I had called Ambalance and police. I was wanting answers to some questions and no one would help me on the phone. The one Paramedic that took me to the hospital came and talked to me and I calmed down. He is an ex addict. I think I was having a nervous break down/ or a reaction to the drugs, part of both. After all this, Matt and I got into an argueement because he would not give me my car keys. I fractured my finger in his t-shirt, fighting with him. I called 911 again. Same ambalance paramedics came again. I was mad at matt and did not want to see him. I rode sitting in the back of the ambalance talking to the Paramedic who is an ex addict. He is the best counsler I have met. He came every time I called. Somewhere around this time, I was like having a nervous breakdown. Walking fast down the street, sitting on the side of the road in the grass, not caring! I started jerking things out of my brothers truck, broke the antena. I went into the house and got 2 or 3 big knives and started cutting cords and wires inside his truck. Again Matt took me to the hospital because he was afraid I would hurt myself or others. He said to see a doctor and it would not take long. He did not tell me that I would be staying overnight! (That is how bad off I was) I had a blanket around me and and a toy monkey. Finally I was Baker Acted and sent to New Horizens. I was given a room with a bed in it. I got upset when I found out I was staying. They keep telling me to be quite. I screamed my lungs out. They put me in Solitary confinement. I still screamed. They gave me a shot. I could look out one window and see a computer with 4 pictures on it. They were watching me. Each time a nurse came by, he was using his finger to hush me. I finally put the mattress on the bed in front of the window. I stood at door and screamed my lungs out and finally slid down the door and went to sleep (not long though) . When I finally got out of "Solitary" it was still hush hush. I had no hand book to know the rules! I did not think I would be there long. I waited on a doctor. I did not want to miss him. I would not go eat. In the morning they had me up at 4:00am. They did not give me Kadian or Roxycodone while I was there. I waited up late after bedtime for the doctor. They woke me up at 4:00am because I wanted to see the dr. Did I see the dr.? No not until later!! I finally learned to take my meds, but still would not go eat. I did not want to miss seeing the doctor. I was worn out waiting. God was with me all during this time. I am glad that everything happened the way it did. I have no regrets. I had all the patients knowing that I was a walking miracle.. God answered questions I had before I went there. I did not read His Word either while there. But I know now that God is Jesus. I can almost tell you about the mark of the beast.! Every thing that happened at New horizons was ment by God. On tv I heard to read Peter and John first. God was working miracles left and right \o/ I was dancing and singing songs about Benji my dog. Sonny (someone who worked there) had let me hang on to a stress ball, I used it because I squoze a banana when I got mad from waiting on a dr. I had ones believeing in God! One girl got her Bible out. Others ready to go to Church. I got that stress ball and went around the desk at the nurses station singing and bouncing the stress ball. I found out that if something was put off that I wanted, it was Gods doing for my good. I found names of books to read. One by Joyce Meyer. God was with me or I would not have made it. Thumbs up, I was happy! It made a lot of the others happy. As for me, I am looking to the next minute, not day. Everything from the last minute is "shoved under the rug" No use worrying about anything that happened it is past tense. All of that happened around the first of June. Now Matt and I have joinned a Church and been baptized. We are active in the Church, and that is what was missing in my life. I thought I could not sit in Church 1 hour, without a lot of pain. I knew that a person can be saved and not go to Church, (even though it hinders Spiritual growth). I was doing work on the computer, but that was not enough! God wanted me in Church. I praise God today for what all happened to me. It all has helped me grow stronger in Him. I I thank Jesus for suffering and dieing for me. He paid the price in full for my sins. He arose from the dead, He is with me. \o/ He died for you too. I hope this testimony touches each one who reads it. And if you have not accepted Jesus as your personal Saviour, that you will come to know Him before His return. God knows each of us, even the number of hairs on your head. Matt. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Confess Christ Before Men (Luke 12:8, 9) Matt. 32 "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. 33 But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. May God bless you, Jean |
My Deliverance By StepOnCat At a young age I learned what it was to hate one's self. And at a young age I feared the monster I might become. So I hated myself even more. You see someone that was living with my grandmother had sexually abused me and I blamed myself for it. I also at that time believed that ,"If you can't trust family , then who can you trust. Then at the age of 13 I learned that those who were abused tend to abuse others. This made me fear life cause I didn't want to grow up and hurt others the way I was. Thus I believed within my heart that no one could ever truly love me if they knew the monster that was inside of me. And thus I could never love anyone cause of what I may become... Well, they were wrong and I didn't grow up that way, but it took me many, many years to realize that. I graduated from a Christian School and even accepted Jesus into my heart but without really giving my heart to God. Then on June 28th of 1987 I attempted to kill myself. But God was watching over me and would not allow me to succeed. Shortly after that I completely stopped going to church. In the summer of 1991 I moved out of my parent's home and rented an apartment. I also started a job at the mill which I hated with a passion. And I took up drinking. Every night when I got home from work I would get drunk and sit there and pet my cat till I finally passed out. I did this for three months, till when at work I had a seizure. Shortly after that I quit my job that was stressing me out and I quit drinking because I didn't want to live that kind of a life style. But I was still running from God Then in February of 1997 I met this girl that completely swept me off my feet. Yes, I was infatuated. This was the first time I ever allowed someone to love me and I was on cloud 9 for several months. We were even engaged. But this was not meant to be and the relationship slowly deteriorated and all I could do was sit there and watch. While my relationship was going down hill I met a wonderful person online, in a suicide chat room. We immediately became friends. And When my relationship was clearly over, I was contemplating suicide. Well, my friend ( Marion ) from England Called my sister who dialed 911 and I was placed in the hospital, in the Mental Health Unit or otherwise known as MHU. Well, they put me on three different meds that made me hear voices within my head louder than I have ever heard before,, These voices would yell and scream and actually sound as if I was hearing them through my ears. Well, after a couple months of that they switched the meds they were giving me and labeled me as a schizophrenic. Thus placing me within the system with no apparent way out; I could not accept this and so I would cut myself to see the pain I that I would not allow myself to feel. On several times more I ended up in the hospital in MHU for suicidal thoughts. This went on for a couple years being in and out of the hospital. Then in the summer of 2003 I wanted to study the Bible, so I ordered a course on Soul Winning from ACE (Accelerated Christian Education)... As I was studying the Soul Winning Course and typing it up for my friend to read on her computer, I prayed the sinners' prayer once again. This time truly meaning it within my heart; for I was determined to give God my heart. Even though I have to see a therapist and psychiatrist on a regular basis, my life started turning around. Things got better in my life. The doctors switched medicines that I was on and the voices quieted within my head. Though from time to time I hear them talking ever so softly; but you know "That which cannot be cured, can be endured." And God has blessed me ever so much. He placed a friend within my heart who I love dearly and have written many poems about. God had also placed new Christian friends in my life that I talk to online. No more do I cut myself or think about suicide as being the only answer there is. For God has chased away everything that brought me down and replaced it with Love. Whenever Satan tries to attack me, I just sit down and write a poem. God has gifted me with the ability to write poems as a way to combat the devil's darts. So here I am now, alive because of God and saved because God loved me that much that He protected me for myself |
The Testimony of John Beauford By John Beauford I must write this testimony to let others know the power of Jesus Christ. My name is John. At one time many spirits bound me. Some were alcohol, drugs, violence and more. I lost two families, self respect, money and almost my life. People, I was in and out of jail for the past six years. I had no friends. People I associated with just used me for things I had. When it was gone they were gone. I had been to about 13 rehabs to try to stop drinking and using drugs. I would stop for a week or a month and start back again. I was in jail so much until I didn't care about jail any more. The time in jail helped me stay clean of drugs and alcohol, I was able to rest and get my health back. The time in jail was spent sleeping and avoiding the minister that came to the jail. I did not want to hear about God or the Lord Jesus. The spirit in me did not want to hear about Jesus, I would get out of jail as usual and start back drinking and using drugs. My life was miserable. I knew, I needed help and couldn't find it. My life was getting worse. I started carrying a gun and looking to use it. I had nothing to look forward to. I had no home, no wife. My kids did not want to be around me. I didn't want to be around myself. I thought about suicide many times but could not pull the trigger. "I had nothing to look forward to. I hand no home, no wife. My kids did not want to be around me. I didn't want to be around myself. I though about suicide many times One night I got high on crack and vodka. This dude made me mad so I was going to unload on him {shoot him with all six bullets.} Someone told him I was looking for him and I was going to kill him {Now I remember what he did, he broke a window in my truck. I loved my truck more than my freedom}.so he went to the police. The police were looking for me and I was looking for him. God allowed the police to find me before I found him. I found myself back in jail. This time I was looking at two to five years in the state pen for carrying a concealed weapon. I lost everything else, so why not my freedom for two to five years. I was sitting in Beaver County Jail with no way to look but up. I was sick of my life, sick of life itself. I planned that night after the guards made their rounds to commit suicide. Everything was prepared. The only thing I had to do was wait until midnight. But that was not God's plan. That evening at about 7pm, a minister from Wildwood Chapel came to the jail. I was sitting on the bench. {For, some reason I did not go in to my cell as I did before when they came}. Brother John was talking with another prisoner about Jesus and his love. I was sitting there listening, not showing I was listening, but I was hanging on every word that came out of brother's John's mouth. At the end, Brother John asked the prisoner to pray with him. As they were praying so was I. At that time and moment, I asked the Lord to come into my life. I asked him to rule over my life. At that moment, It was no longer John Beauford's life But Jesus life. John Beauford "did die" that night, but not by suicide as I had planned. "John Beauford "did die' that night, but not by suicide as I planned". The old John died and a new John was born in Christ. There was joy and peace that I felt. I did not care about prison. I just wanted to keep the peace and joy that I felt. When I cried out to the Lord, He heard me and the pain was gone for the first time in many years. I was freeI knew I was free. There is power in the blood of Jesus. When I stopped praying, I was different. Brother John asked the prisoner next to me if he wanted a Bible. He said no, so I took it. Brother John asked the prisoner if he wanted material to read. Again, the prisoner said no, so I took it. At that point, brother, John looked at me with a strange look for what seemed like an hour, but it was only for a few seconds. Then he smiled at me and left. I went to my cell and opened the Bible to the book of Luke. I read that Jesus promised us many things if only we would believe and I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. That He was crucified on the cross and died and rose on the third day and sits on the right hand of the Father with all authority and power. The other prisoner's thought I lost my mind. Read the Bible and praying all day. I was changed and everyone could see it. The prisoners and guards saw I had at joy and a peace. I did not ask the Lord to help me with my court case. I was willing to accept any punishment that the court gave me. I could do the time with Jesus on my side. For the first time in a long while, I felt good about myself. Even though I was in jail, I was on top of the world. Court time came. Before going, I prayed. Not for help, but that the Lord would go before me and that His will be done. I know to this day that the Lord went before, me and informed the judge, because with my record I got 4 years probation for carrying a concealed weapon. I was no longer a prisoner of the county. But, I was a prisoner of the Lord. The Lord brought me to jail to teach me. It is not easy to be saved behind bars. But with the Lord's help, I made it. I had to only serve 5 months for violation of my probation. The Lord was not finished with me. I began to read the Bible from cover to cover. Then it happened as I was reading the book of Ezekiel 36: 26-27 that the Holy Spirit spoke to me. At first, I did not understand what I was reading. Then a voice in my mind said, "I'm talking to you, to you John". And. A new heart also will, I give you. And a new, spirits will I out within you and I will take away the stony heart out of flesh. And I will give you a heart of flesh, And I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them, The Lord knows where each one of us is and what we need. I needed a new heart and spirit and today I have it with the power of the Lord. For the next 5 months, I read the Bible and prayed about all things. I am out of jail today. I go to church and try to keep the commandments of God. I am still saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. The joy I had in jail, I still have. I have not used drugs or alcohol. I don't hang around the old crowd go to the bars or dope house. I have new friends in Christ the Lord Jesus has worked miracles in my life and He will do the same for you if only you ask. I am praying for you. Your brother in Christ, John Beauford. PS: You have tried everything else, NOW TRY JESUSI t has been some years since I wrote the above. Part two. This is an up date. The first question every one want to know is has John gone back to drinking and drugs. The answer is yes. I started hanging with the old crowd, thinking that I could help them. In the meanwhile I was setting my self up for a relapse. The devil was waiting on me. I was not strong enough to resist him. I was still going to church lying to my self and the people around me. Some knew that I was using again but they did not say as word. I was not lying to God, for God knows, The heart of each of us. (In first Samuel 12- 20 it says and Samuel said unto the people. Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart: And turn ye not aside: for then should ye go after vain things, which can not profit nor deliver; for they are vain. For the Lord will not forsake his people for his great namesake. Because it hath pleased the lord to make you this people.) That is what I hung on to for about eight months. I never stopped praying and calling out to God. I did not know it, but God had to break me again in order to deal with me. Try to understand this; unless we surrender to the Lord he can not do his work in us. I still thought I knew it all, had all the answers. And the Lord had to show me I did not know a thing. I was so full of pride and self worth that I was beside myself. This is also sin but after awhile I confessed these and other sins to God and he forgave me. I was told in a dream to leave my hometown. So one morning I packed a case and found a ride to theV.A. Hospital. In PGH. PA there I checked in the hospital. I tried to get in the drug and alcohol program. But was told that I have been there to many times, which I have. I did not need the program; Jesus Christ had a better program for me. So I was put on the mental ward during this time I was told that I did not have mental problems and that I could only stay for 30 days. So the VA was helping me find a place to live. (I could not go back to my hometown God called me out of there that was clear.) I had to put my trust in the Lord. That was hard. I was used to running my life. Not letting God run my life. In the weeks to come, I tried to find a place to live. During those 30 days, where I wanted to live there was always some problem. God wanted me where he could work on me. He knew where I needed to be but I kept rejecting, where the Lord wanted me to go. (There was this place way out in the county that the VA. kept telling me about. The thing of it is that it was two miles to the nearest store and 11 miles to the mall and in between was cornfields that were not for me not at all.) So I tried to get a place to live in the city, apartment after apartment no one would take my money. I could not get a place in the crack house with money in my hand! God had a plan for my life, and I had no choice but to follow it or live in the streets. The last day, last hour, I had no place to go, but out to the vet center. This place is so far out that it's named after a road, 268-vet center in cowansville Pa. On the way out there I did not see any towns, only cornfields. I was saying to God that this is not the place for me. It's out in nowhere. God knew that this was the right place for me to be. No sooner than I got there the Lord started to deal with me. (I forgot to say that after I got out of Jail I was ordained a Reverend and preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My faith in God is what brought me through and what is keeping me going. To this day things have not been easy in this Christian walk, but faith in Jesus has made things much easier. For God will not give you more than you can bear, and will make a way out. ) I was able to forgive people of past wrongs, Abel to ask for forgiveness for the sins that I committed against God and my fellow man. Being capable to forgive. I found is very important to Christ, he forgave those who lied on him and those who crucified him on the cross. He (Jesus Christ) say's that we must forgive others that our heavenly father will forgive us. God has forgiven us of our sins, because of what Jesus did on the cross. (The innocent for the guilty that is Jesus and us.) It took time praying and asking God to take the pain away, but once I let go and refused to let the enemy come and remind me of the past I was healed. God is good to his word if we will obey him. The vet center was the best place for me! For now. I had to put my full trust in Jesus and ask him to lead me, but first I had to surrender my free will. This is hard; I am still fighting with this, my free will. In order for God to work with you, and in you, we must deny self and put on Jesus. I fight with this each and every second of my life; John wants to do the things John's way, but if I am a disciple of Jesus I must walk in the footsteps of Jesus. This means that I must follow the teaching of Jesus even though I might not like it. It's hard to love someone that just lied on you or that you just don't, get along with. It's hard. Some people we just can't get along with but Jesus says that we must. We choose to love others, even the ones that don't love us. We are to still be kind to them. Grace, Mercy, Peace, this is my motto. Today I choose to love and forgive others. I stayed at the vet center ten months, learning what God had to tell me and to apply it to my life. I felt that God was calling me to leave the center so I started looking for a place to live. As usual I tried to find a place where I would like to live, but God was not having it. He wanted me in a certain place. So I moved to a town called Butler P.A.Ten months with out any drugs or alcohol. I was on top of the world. The first time in my life I was free of any chemicals and not be in Jail. This was a first for me. I found an apartment in Butler without any problems. Started making new Christian friends. There is a lot of drugs in that town but I would not be around them by myself .I would always have a brother in Christ with me when I went to witness to others. Since I am ordained I stared two bible studies at nursing homes and the other at homes in Butler I also went back to the vet center every Wednesday for a Bible study with the vets that I spent ten months with. I started to go to a church in Butler, visiting the hospitals and witnessing to people on the streets; God is truly blessing me. After a year of this I started to be lonely for female companionship, I would not keep company with any of the woman that I was witnessing to. In the church that I was in, There was a lady that I was actuated to I started talking to her we be came friends starred seeing each outer on a regulator bases, six months leather we were married. She is a Christian. God was in this marriage I was happier than I have ever been in my life. I prayed for a wife and God provided one. (But that is not the end of the story. The Lord still had thing to work with me on, th |