The Desert
There are times in our lives when we walk through a desert where we feel alone and in deep despair. The desert is a painful place to be in, and our hearts become sadden and our hope seems far beyond our reach. These are the hardest times in our lives and in our Christian walk with God. We lose sight of who we are with him and where we stand. We feel forsaken and disregarded wondering where or when it will end. The pain that overtakes us is deep and filled with negativity as not felt before. We struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel; wondering when will it end and wonder how much longer must we be in this desert which only brings sadness and pain. As I, recently walked through my own desert I was lost and in pain not knowing when it would pass. I spend the last two weeks in the hospital trying to sort my life and wondering if I would find my place. As I stood in the hospital I couldn't help but to take my eyes off of me as I observed others. The pain I saw and felt from others was deep and filled with anguish, the sad part was that most of those women also believed in God and Christ as their savor. The illnesses that they lived with were deep and life challenging. Their hearts were broken and their minds shattered not knowing why. As I looked and listened to their stories I could no longer keep my eyes on my self and go on with my self-centeredness. The pain that ran through those women was heart-breaking and I felt every bit of their pain. As an empathic person I could no longer bear their pain and I wondered within myself and asked God if he felt what I felt and the answer was yes. His heart goes out to those who are in pain and to those who don't know the why of it all. His mercy is great and his heart is filled with much compassion and love for those who suffer deeply. We may not understand it all or know the reasons why God has allowed such pain and mental illness in others, but I assure you that it isn't God's fault. He's not standing their planting illness on people or brewing up catastrophes to hurt the lives of his children. We must remember that when sin came into the world it corrupted everything, from our atoms to our gene structure. Sin is a deep destructive force that has made its way into our lives through one man. We can't blame God for things we don't fully know of or understand; God is the one with the whole picture, we only have a part of it. This is where our faith comes in, where we... even in the desert have to hold onto faith believing that God will bring us through. Believing that even when it hurts so deeply, and when we don't know what to do or where we're going... that God will guide us to where we have to be. That he will see us through no matter what we are feeling, or what the situation looks like. Faith isn't an easy task and it takes a will to want to believe no matter what the circumstances are. It's a choice of mind and will, it's believing and even wanting to believe that sees us through. God takes what little faith we have and works with it; allowing it to grow as we go on trusting and believing even when all seems hopeless in the moment. The desert is a place where we grow and learn to hold onto God; a place where our faith is built and our awareness of self becomes stronger as well as who we are in Christ. As I allowed myself to stand back and see others my heart was deeply sadden for them. I could no longer look at myself but instead I looked to those who needed the comfort of God. I was once again filled with the vision of the house of restoration for hurting women. They became my spiritual daughters within my heart and I prayed for them, with them and still do. I asked God to show me which way to go, and how to begin the posses of establishing what he has called me to do. Sometimes we have to take our eyes of ourselves and look at others and the lives that need God's love. We have to look towards God and allow him to guide us through. There is always a reason for everything and even when we don't understand what's going on, God is in control and sees the whole picture. Have faith... baby steps, and believe that he will show you the way and guide you to where you need to be no matter what's taking place in your life at the moment. As for me right now, I have to trust in God and allow him to guide me and to help me focus in the present and towards the future. Though my life has been filled with much pain and my heart has been wounded, I to must remember that God is my only hope, my only way, even when there seems to be no way, I will keep my faith and allow it to grow. So trust God, keep the faith and keep your eyes on him.
God Bless You
Keren |